Variety Among Drinks

I think I’m depressed. I have the doldrums. Several people have pointed it out to me lately. They say that I look and act “down.” 

I believe it. All this semester I was going one hundred miles an hour, now, just about 0. I mean maybe I’ll hit 5 mph or so, since I have one more class, a residency class in Kansas. There’s a book to read for that. Just one. A small one. Serendipitous for my novel writing career, the book is called, “How to Write A lot.” I betcha I love that book!

Comps Potential Outcomes

My brother asked me the other day about the comps I just took. He asked, was there a chance you could fail? What happens if you fail? What's it mean that you passed?

So to help my brother with this . . . let's discuss it just a bit. 

Back to Novel Writing

Now that I'm through with classes . . . man that still seems weird to write . . . I guess when something has been a daily part of your life for 3 and a half years . . .  when it goes away, it's a bit of a loss. 

Regardless, now that I'm through with those classes, I'm thinking of . . . I'm going to get back into my novel writing. It won't be immediate. I still have to finish my dissertation, but just the experiment and the report on it over the course of the next few months is nothing compared to taking 6 or 7 Masters and PhD level classes every year. 

Not the Martian

I remember reading The Martian when if first came out. It was a terrific novel. It was geeky but sci-fi-ish. It was raw but well-written. It was fresh and interesting. 

Then the movie came out. It was good. But nowhere near as good as the book. 

Research Presentation and Proposal

KSU has an interesting way of performing qualifying exams. My major professor actually apologized for it. They combine the exam with a proposal meeting. This makes it longer, but it does help provide structure? 

How? 

Pent-Up

 This comic is definitely true to life. I can feel the slump. There's a bit of relief sure, but there's a slump as well. It's a funny ole mixture of feelings. I feel like I'm running a hundred miles an hour still, and yet there's so little to do!

Now, that's not exactly true is it? I have a dissertation to complete and a defense to complete. But, I've already started down that path. The other day I met with several different departments who are going to help me with the experiment . . . they're all so damn competent, they don't seem to need me at all!

Chance To Self Author

Lately I've been struggling at work. There are times where I think it's because of those around me, but there's always time for introspection and growth right?

Why? What's going on? I think it is primarily that I need to be okay giving up control. 

Candidate Now

I’m a PhD Candidate now. No longer just a student. I have to say . . . That was super hard. Like Super Hard. SUPER HARD! How’s it rank? Let’s see . . .

Pre-Ranger and Ranger School

Ranger School was hard because of hell week, no sleep, minimal food, all work.

Remember that Stress I Mentioned . . .

I'm just thirty minutes out from my comps/quals and I am stressing. I'm a ball of stress. I barely slept last night . . . part of that had to do with a 16-year-old son coming in super late and leaving super early . . . but the large majority of it is this meeting in a couple of minutes. 

I slept maybe 4 hours. Eventually, I got up to read my novel for a bit, and made some coffee . . . found the coffee to be too weak so I added some cocoa . . . didn't like the taste so I added a huge dose of rum.

And Even More Stress

The other day I wrote about all that is going on with the ole PhD. Came to the end of several classes, got a bad grade on a paper, all the travel, etc. Well, that stress was nothing compared to today. 

In two days I have my quals . . .or my comps. Mine is linked to a proposal. Guess who has been rehearsing that proposal over and over again? Yep . . .This guy!

No Characters in Ripcord

I don't have time for bad books anymore. What am I? Almost 50? Close enough were I can say I am 50! Let's say 50. That's a good deal past half my expected expiration date. Who wants to spend the few remaining days I have reading bad books. 

Some bad books I have to read . . . for work? . . . for school (hopefully that's coming to an end soon) . . . for other myriad reasons. But if I read for fun . . . I don't want to waste my reading time on bad books. Ripcord, it's a good book about a battle, but it's a horrible story. 

What's that mean?

Essentials for Novel Writing

Thayer Rules are my little way of cataloging things I hear from James Thayer's podcast Essential Guide to Writing a Novel. Thayer is a wealth of information. Its presentation is a bit long and slow but there are nuggets in there that are incredibly worthwhile. Additionally, in episode one he references positively Donald Maass. I love Donald Maass.

The rule I liked today was "Characters don't engage in small talk." 

More On Airport Fashion (or is it Moron Airport Fashion)

A couple of weeks ago, I wrote about fashion at airports. Today, I’m that fashionista I wrote about. I’m looking ROUGH. Well . . . Disclaimer . . . Rough for me. 

What’s rough for me?

Comps or Quals

I’m in the midst of comps. What’s a comp? Well . . . it's a Qual. What's a Qual? A comp (or a qual), according to my good friend Andrew who is an associate professor at Southern Connecticut State University, stands for comprehensive exams (or qualifying exam depending on where you go). It’s one of the final pieces of the PhD puzzle, and now that I’m living it, I have to say it’s among the most stressful pieces. 

Sure, I’ve finished my classes, but that just means part one of the PhD process is over. Part two is writing and completing my research dissertation. 

Maybe I Didn't Survive

A few weeks back I discussed how hard the last few months have been . . . school . . . work . . . more school . . . more work. Well, I wrote that I was surprised I survived. Now I'm not so sure I did. I got back my major paper . . . a final manuscript for Advanced Qualitative Data Analysis and it's the worst grade I've gotten in the PhD program! Worst by far. I got an 83! Another post I wrote a few weeks back was about how I assumed everyone was getting A's in the program. Now I see that's not so! I guess there are two things I should be happy about. 

First, I should be happy that I didn't get a 20 out of 30 like it looks like several folks did. That would be 67! The average on the grades for that paper was a 26.5 and it's going down further each day that I check. So I guess I should be happy with my 83. Dr. P might be a tougher grader than she let on.

Training as a Serial

I really liked this article . . . see HERE or HERE. It's about some Microsoft training. It's built around the idea that training doesn't have to be boring. 

This training is for Microsoft employees, and it's built around the idea that training can be provided in the form of a thriller television series. 

PO Fit Long Article

Person-Environment (PE) fit theory, although relatively new has become more well-developed and mature since its inception in 1974 (Caplan 1987). PE fit theory or the idea that finding a "values congruence" between an employee and the organization they work in has been studied for decades to determine to what degree PE fit or other subsidiary concepts and theories can help lessen negative consequences such as high turnover, and worker burnout. Then there are the positive aspects for organizations that might use PE fit and other fit theories. These can include greater employee career prospects, increased worker engagement, and greater job satisfaction. 

In 2022, a non-profit, contractor training organization in the Gulf Coast region of the United States supporting workers in the energy industry performed a qualitative study on employees’ experiences of being hired and how fit theory may have been applied by their hiring organizations. This study was performed to determine: (a) challenges faced by new employees who support the energy industry, (b) how these new employees deal with those challenges over their first three months or work, and (c) how the concepts of "fit" theory apply to these employees, the contracting organizations, and these challenges. 

A Great Line About Fantasies

Every now and then I run across a line that resonates. I put them all in my Great Lines group  . . . see HERE. Or if you'd like to see the other "great lines" you can click the label on the right of the navigation bar. 

This one hit me. I don't know why, but it did. Maybe I've come close to fulfilling my fantasies and realized it wasn't what I thought. Maybe it's the context, where he realizes that the girl he used to fantasize about really isn't what he wanted or needed in life. Maybe it's all of that. 

How Did I Survive March?

I turned in my final paper today. You see,  . . . Before a PhD student is allowed to propose their research, they have to finish all of the coursework. 60-something hours? I took 21 classes, 3 hours per class and a couple of hours for dissertation writing? So, maybe closer to 70 hours over the past three years. 

Now that I’m done with my coursework, I’m allowed to submit my proposal. My proposal is really the first 3 chapters of my dissertation. 56K words of boring and bland academic writing about VR and adult learning. It explains the research I want to do. In my case, I outline a quantitative experiment comparing VR courses to determine how to optimize the use of VR for the learning community I support. Once the proposal is approved by my committee, which is not a sure thing, and I won’t know for a few more weeks, then I can perform my experiment, write up the results as 2 more chapters, then defend my work and then I’ll be done. Hopefully sometime in December. If not then January or February at the latest.

Change: Good or Bad

I was chatting to an old friend about the changes that we have gone through. They were despondent that we were as close as we used to be. Truth is, so was I, but I mentioned that we weren’t the same folks anymore. They talked about how they wish we were. 

The problem is that there’s no way to be the friends we used to be. Since we were friends we’ve both moved jobs, we’ve both got new groups of friends, we both have gotten older and our kiddos have moved on in different ways. Hell since we were closer friends I’ve gotten a PhD! That’s a lot of time. 

Mistakes Make Us Better

I've discussed this before, I'm sure. I am a safety net person. I don't like to make mistakes. Do I? Sure. And hopefully, I learn from them. But I don't like being in a position where I can make a mistake. 

I remember reading an article by Steve Jobs wherein he mentioned he learned more from his failure of the LISA computer than he ever learned from his successes (I KNOW I've mentioned that before). I think about my biggest failures or mistakes and I wonder what I have learned from them. 

Del's and PhD's

I have to admit, for a long time, I thought we were all getting A's. I thought that if you were in a PhD program and you were putting in the effort, you were getting straight A's. Plus, there is this new nonsense about not grading in schools (see the article HERE). I understand the opportunity to not "punish" students but rather allow for psychological safety and grade students on their own efforts and their own growth. But, I'm also a fan of standards meeting standards to pass (see any post I've written on the Rangers!)

I got my MBA from Univeristy of Phoenix back in 2002 or 03. When I signed up they were investing heavily in recruiting out of the military. I guess their message worked for me. I went in, signed up for my GI Bill benefits, and thought I was going to take all my classes online. HA! Little did I know that they had a campus in Houston and all of my classes were at the campus!

Go Look at my LinkedIn . . . I Dare Ya!

One thing that really gets me heated up is people who are loose with their facts. My LinkedIn profile states “PhD Student”. . . . Not “Candidate” (that doesn’t come till after my proposal is accepted), and not “PhD” . . .certainly not. Not until I’ve defended. Why? Cause I’m not loose with my facts. 

Why am I bringing this up?

Still a Smoker

This one may take a bit of explanation. I met my wife at a PT group. She took my class and naturally fell for the instructor. It happens. I'm freaking dreamy and charming, especially when I workout. Don't blame her for falling for me. She's only human.

Regardless, despite the fact that we met out doing workouts, we NEVER workout together. We used to run some together, we have done a couple of races, but that was when we were dating. For the most part, especially now that we're older, we keep to our own workouts. 

FUTR

I had a friend a while back who when we first met warned me that they liked to "fly under the radar." When I heard this I thought that they were just saying that as a part of the personality, but when we talked, wrote, or met, there was no flying under the radar, for either of us.

I say for either of us because although I might not use that idiom, it certainly applies to me. I am very much someone who has to be forced into the limelight, I do not naturally seek that attention out.  

Phillipa Foote

The other day I was talking to my brother when he was in town with his family. We were discussing his new car, a Tesla, and his dislike for Elon Musk. Prior to Elon's buying of Twitter David was a huge fan of Elon and Tesla. he saw the value of entrepreneurs like him, he thought Tesla was a revolution, which in many ways it is. 

Suddenly, after Elon bought Twitter, David allowed his politics to come into play. I pointed this out to him and he was adamant that he had always held these views. I found it somewhat funny. It showed the difference, it seems to me, between the socialized mind and the self-authored mind. 

Airport Fashionisto

I am traveling a lot again. It’s fun to get back to travel after Covid. Prior to the pandemic, I think I was traveling 25%-45% of the time. Before that, when I worked at HydrochemPSC and PSC I was easily traveling 50%. When I traveled before, with PSC, it was all for fun. If I wanted to go somewhere and train I went. Sure, I always found myself near a refinery, but I went to the Bay Area a ton, LA, Chicago, New Jersey, Tennessee, just about anywhere we had a branch and I could go. 

With HASC, I traveled less and for different reasons. I didn’t travel as much for training, but much more for conferences, and sales. Now, I think training is about 30% of my travel time. But, I found that I missed travel during Covid. It’s good to have it back. 

Trust and Competence

I saw a quick article in our little newsletter that focused on Trust. It discussed Drivers of Trust and went forward to say that there are three drivers of trust: 1) Perceived Ability/Competence, 2) Benevolence/Care Not Driven by Ego, and 3) Integrity. 

I've seen that in many ways, . . . the way that trust can erode or elevate organizations, relationships, and communities. I've seen it and been a part of both erosion and elevation. It's this first one, the first driver, the one that discusses competence that I'm going to focus on here. 

Another Pod Cast . . . This One with Kerry

 A couple of weeks ago I mentioned getting to record a podcast with Kerry that was all about training in our industry. So, it came out today (see HERE). Geez I sound like a dope!

The Dominant Lens

We had a question in class . . . Goodman discusses how people in dominant classes discuss social justice definitions differently than how someone in the minority might. A common example is that white people would say racism is "individual acts of meanness" while black people would see racism as systemic. In what areas have you seen similar disparities between dominant and minority groups and how might seeing the disparity through a different lens might help you understand social justice challenges better?

This is a good discussion point. There is something to be said for selecting the appropriate lens, but I think it's more difficult than JUST selecting the appropriate lens . . . there's the need to understand that a different lens is needed . . . being able to adjust your own eyes to that new lens and make sense of what you see through the new lens. My classmate felt this was enough, and brought up a great point about using social justice language to help define, identify, and acknowledged moments of microaggression,  . . . that is a good starting point for helping people understand new lenses might be needed. 

Updated Concept Map

Now that I'm in the throes (or is it throws . . . no . . . it's throes) of writing my dissertation proposal writing, I've had to update my concept map with several new concepts that are starting to take hold of my thoughts. 

It's interesting to see the evolution of this paper as I write this. It may be hard to see in this image, but you'll see that I've got three major themes, Virtual Reality, Safety Training and Durable Memories. 

My Cultural Story

This paper was written through a lens of social justice and privilidge. I just finished one of my last classes and it was critical theory and social justice in education. Tough slog. Truth? Although I got alot out of it . . .in terms of my PhD work, it was a bit of a waste of time. There is so much of this in our culure now, it feels like we are all well versed in it, and the class seemed a few years dated. But, we had to look at our lives through this lens as a final project. 

In order to describe my cultural story, it is best to divide up my life in segments based not on how different cultural issues and forces played on my life, but rather through a timeline.

Tough Times

Having read Upton Sinclair's The Jungle, having read any book by Charles Dickens, . . . Hell one of my favorite all-time books (other than Lonesome Dove) is Les Miserables! So, when I say that I'm having tough times, please know that I still know my place in the grand scheme of things. 

I have an amazing house and family. I have an amazingly stable job where they NEVER fire or let anyone go. I could stay there for 30 more years and no one will say boo. I have a terrific doggo and gato. I have my health (for the most part) and I'm quite privileged. . . inordinately so. Heck, just the other day I was explaining to Charlie about what a blessing it is to be born in America. It's like winning a "life lottery ticket."