As I've mentioned several times were going through a merger at work (see more here). We have a culture clash going on between two types of people. The type I come from are innovators, they are people that push the envelope and try new things easily and aggressively. The other group we are merging with is more of a stay in your lane type of group. They like to keep to themselves. They like to do what they've done the same way every time.
(actual picture from work . . . that's me in the light blue)
This stay in your lane concept can be good because it makes for easily repeatable processes that are expected and understood. The problem is it leaves no room for trying something new or doing something different or better.
Today I was talking to a young lady who should've been on the innovation side. But the more I told her about this dream I have for training the more she pooh-poohed it. Every single argument I had she countered with another argument about how it wouldn't work, how it was too hard, how I shouldn't do it. It got to a point until I was out of arguments and so was she. Her final argument was, "it's just all so modern." I thought that was a pretty crummy way to end an argument and it doesn't really end it at all. Modern? Really?
So often I find that I know the expected argument from everyone from the other culture. Their arguments will always be well that's not the way we've done it . . . it never works . . . we tried it once and it didn't work . . . or no one's going to use all of that.
No this is not another post about mergers and acquisition's or about culture clashes. This is a post about why I'm having a hard time writing. After this 30 minute argument/conversation about my training dream I retreated back to my desk and realized I was tired. This was a moment when I had booked some time just to write and instead of writing I felt exhausted. I realized that for the last few months I've been more and more exhausted for this very reason. Not physical exhaustion . . . no, that comes from my commute. This is mental and spiritual fatigue and exhaustion. It comes from always having to argue every single little point.
At my old company before we merged if you had an idea to push you talk to some people about it they would love the idea they would help you push it out there, add their insight then adjust, adapt and make it happen. No argument necessary.
Now, it seems everything from good morning to good night is an argument. Worst of all, as I wrote, I find that it's taking a toll on my writing.
But guess what? I'm not gonna give up on that training dream . . . and I'm certainty never going to give up on my writing. If anything by identifying the problem now, I can work to solve and work around it. Not only can I work around that young lady or find better arguments to convince her of my training dreams capabilities, now I also know that it's not worth the exhaustion to sacrifice my writing life. Or perhaps it means I should schedule around work in such a way that my ride in life is not affected.
So like I said it's not an excuse but at least I've identified the problem and I can work around.
