Last Cook?

It's been a while since I read a Robin Cook novel. Medical thrillers are fun, and because I'm not in the medical field, they're new and novel. Robin Cook's books, as I remember, are fast-paced and interesting. So I was surprised it had been such a long while since I read one. 

I remember now . . . that besides being fun, fast-paced, and new, they're also fairly poorly written. 

Far be it from me to pretend to be some huge arbiter of what makes for good writing. I have three (self) published novels. Robin Cook has dozens and dozens of best sellers. But really, the dialogue is atrocious at times. 

Here's a bit. The bad guy is with his skin-head buddies and they're trying to run down the main character and hopefully shoot him. The guy says, in the heat of the chase:

"This is godddamned impossible," Curt complained. "I knew that once we lost sight of him it would be like finding the proverbial needle in the haystack."

This is not some high-brow evil villain like Blofeld or Moriarty. This is a dumb, Marine, skin-head . . but he knows to say, "proverbial needle in the haystack?" Think about it, if you're racing through downtown Manhattan at rush hour and you're trying to kill someone, do you throw in "we could lose him like the proverbial needle in the haystack? Even if saying "needle in a haystack" is a turn of phrase for you, do you really throw in "proverbial?" Most likely you'll say, "Fuck, we're going to lose him. He'll be impossible to find if we lose him."

Then there was this. The main characters, two doctors are talking about a plague and a bunch of rats dying and the connection it might have had with a woman's death. 

"Or somehow the rats infected Connie," Jack said. Connie lived in an old, ramshackle cottage in a curious, anachronistic warren of others. You guys should see this little community. I have no idea of the adequacy of the plumbing, but judging from the exterior and the haphazard way the cottages have been remodeled, I can't believe that the plumbing could be state of the art."

"Adequacy of the plumbing?" . . . "Anachronistic warren of others?" . . . no one talks like this do they? It's like this all over the place too. The dialogue just doesn't ring true. 

Then there is a focus on the "Bulgarian Kalishnakovs" . . . Why "Bulgarian?" Who knows. But it's all through the book. Anytime Cook mentions an AK, he writes that it's a "Bulgarian Kalishnakov."

This came up near the end of the book. A new character shows up. Cook writes this.

The flap covering the entrance to the decon tent was suddenly pulled aside. In walked a lean, clean-cut, martial-appearing African American man in his thirties . . ."

"Martial appearing?" 

Finally, there was this. It really got to me. This is the third or fourth in this series on Dr. Jack Stapleton. The reader knows the characters. And this last snippet is from the end of the book. So the reader is bought in, they're following these characters. They're involved. They're trapped in a room in the bad guys house. Cook writes this.

A short period of silence ensued. The two people felt confident enough to adjust their weight. They were both leaning against the concrete foundation wall and hadn't moved a muscle.

The two people felt confident enough? How bout Jack moved, adjust himself to try and get more comfortable. Laurie did the same. 

I may read another Robin Cook novel, but now I realize why I haven't read one in a while. The writing doesn't ring true. It reads like writing. It doesn't read like life. It's not lazy, just bad.