Tweaking the Plot and Story

I am about 30,000 words into my draft of Sunset Perfect. I'm really thinking this draft has a very good chance of being the final version that I take all the way to publication. I changed up the model by which I am introducing the story. Instead of the hero being involved in the first partner, he comes into the storyline with the second murder. I also like the fact that he is an outsider to the professional football team, which means he has heard about professional football with the reader.

I also like the fact that he is an outsider to the professional football team, which means he has heard about professional football with the reader.

But I have a problem.

I just started reading The Man from Saint Petersburg… No wait, scratch that… I started reading The Key to Rebecca after I realized, I'd already read The Man from St. Petersburg. Ken Follett is a terrific author.  Usually, when I'm writing, I try to focus on first-person point-of-view stories like Dick, Francis, or Lee's trial. Since I write in the first person, it helps me to stay in that perspective in my reading as well. Nikita Rebecca is in the third person, but it has an amazing first chapter. 

The reader is introduced to the main character as they are struggling along through the desert. A camel dies in the first line of the book. I think about my first line, where one of the main characters dies and I like it. But there's no struggle by them the hero. It's just the main character dying and nothing. There needs to be more than that. So I think I'm going to have that character die Out in the wilderness and the hero has to navigate his way to the police. I think I'm also going to have that character survive the initial shooting, but die while waiting for help to come. 

That might help motivate my hero.