If That's Okay

I was thinking more about friendship… Close, friends… And cutting away towed jumpers… Anyone who is an avid follower of this blog will remember my post on towed jumpers… And I think I mentioned Baldwin (see HERE).

I had a good friend once . . . a long time back . . . could easily be defined as my closest friend ever … who when writing to me said "I'll call if that's OK."

I was so taken aback by that statement that I found I couldn't even write back.

This statement showed me that this friend and I were on completely different planes of existence. 

When previously to them saying this I would have said we were not just reading from the same book  . . . but we were reading from the same page and same line at the same time together… And might've appended that with the words "on a front porch, swing, watching the thunder clouds rolling in." This line, however, made me think that not only were we not reading from the same book. 

This little question showed me that not only were we not reading from the same book . . . we weren't even speaking the same language. 

It had the effect of making me not even be able to write back. I had to cut away the towed jumper, so to speak. When does one abandon a project? When you're so far beyond the deadline that there is no hope to recover what has been lost . . . when there is no opportunity to repair things. Is it the same with friends? I don't know. 

All I know is that it felt like the opportunity was gone with this friend . . . that the chances to fix things were so limited, that the chasm between where we both thought we were was so vast and so deep, that the chance to repair it, to bridge it, or to overcome it was so remote, that it was impossible to imagine ever making it work again. Time to cut away. 

Truth? It wasn't time to say "can I call" or "I'll call if that's okay" . . . it was time to say, "Want to go have lunch?" or even easier . . . two words . . . "Coffee Tuesday?"

After all of the ghosting, all of the dates accepted and stood up, after all of the dates asked for and declined, etc etc, this was the wrong time for being diminutive or hesitant. It was the time for reciprocality and boldness. 

Why do I bring this up?

First, I'm not so silly as to think I wasn't at fault there. I'm a student of ill-structured problems and ill-structured people. This moment in my history definitely counts. 

But also, I think this might be a terrific end to another novel. Can you just imagine the love interest saying "I'd like to see you, if that's okay" and devastating the main character's understanding of their friendship?  A love story where the main character comes to the final scene thinking one thing, then realizes things might not be what he thinks, and that is confirmed when the love interst says, "if that's OK." Fade to black. 

"If that's Okay"  . . . Could even be a nice novel title