First Novel but NOT the Last (I hope)

I’m going to adding Matthew FitzSimmons to my list. What list? The list that includes Dick Francis, Lawrence Sanders, Frederick Forsythe and just a few others. My list of favorite authors for thrillers. This book I just finished by FitzSimmons was well worth the read and well worth looking for and waiting for a next one.

The characters in The Short Drop (here), were fun to read about. The story was twisty and turney and fun and thrilling . . . just what you want from a thriller. Had me guessing quite a bit (and actually, due to one or two holes still in the story, I’m still guessing), and it was fun to read from the beginning.

I even liked the last line! And that's a rarity (see here)

Out in the dark, he heard the creak and slam of a screen door.

FitzSimmons, Matthew -  The Short Drop

Just like with my books I like the idea of educating readers into facets of life that they may not know much about. In my case I chose adventure racing (On the Edge - here) and triathlons (Toe the Line - here). Dick Francis of course uses horse racing. I liked finding out about computer hacking. It wasn’t too heavy on the technical language, and FitzSimmons didn’t get too wrapped up into the nuance. Instead he used it to move the story along.

If I have one critique of this story it would be the end. It came quite abruptly. But what can I say . . . a reviewer has said the same thing about my own book (see here). I have decided to take that critique as a compliment. It wasn’t that the reader was upset by the abrupt ending, they were upset by the end itself. They wanted my story to keep going on and on and on. That’s how I felt about this book. 

Another First Line

I have a running list of first lines that I come across (see here). Some are labeled as "good first lines" (see here) other's get the label "bad" (see here). This list came about because of the heavy emphasis that publishers and readers place on first lines. As an aside . . . I also was compiling a list of "last lines" (see here), but the value of that list petered out due to just how rotten so many last lines are, so I kinda stopped that list a while back.

Today's first line comes from a novel called The Short Drop by Matthew FitzSimmons (see here).

Gibson Vaughn sat alone at the bustling counter of the Nighthawk Diner. The breakfast rush was in full swing as customers milled about, waiting for a seat. Gibson barely registered the crescendo of knives and forks on plates or the waitress who set his food down. His eyes were fixed on the television mounted behind the counter. The news was playing the video again. It was ubiquitous, part of the American zeitgeist— dissected and analyzed over the years, referenced in film, television shows, and songs. Like most Americans, Gibson had seen it countless times, and like most Americans he couldn’t look away no matter how often it aired. How could he? It was all he had left of Suzanne. 

The beginning of the video was grainy and washed out. The picture stuttered and frames dropped; distorted lines rolled up the screen like waves pounding an undiscovered shore. By-products of the store manager having recorded over the same videotape again and again and again. 

Shot down at an angle from behind the cash register, the footage showed the interior of the infamous service station in Breezewood, Pennsylvania. The power of the video was that it could have been anywhere. Your hometown. Your daughter. Viewed in its entirety, the silent security camera footage was a melancholic homage to America’s most prominent missing girl— Suzanne Lombard. The time stamp read 10: 47 p.m. 

FitzSimmons, Matthew - The Short Drop

Not the best first lines, but not bad either. The story actually becomes quite compelling quite quickly.

Since It's Ground Hog Day I Offer This

In honor of Groundhog Day I found this article from the Daily Beast called How to Write Groundhog Day: 10 Rules for Screenwriters by Danny Rubin (see here), author of one of my favorite movies, Groundhog Day with Bill Murray.

I actually contacted Danny Rubin several years ago to see if I could read his original script. I failed. He was very nice about it all, and it might have been my first contact with a true, professional writer. I think it had to do with the story regarding how long Bill Murray's character was stuck in that one day in the movie (see here). Then I read a great article by Jonah Goldberg in National Review about the script (see here . . . well worth the moment it takes to read it). That lead me to go try and find the original script. No joy.

I do like Rubin's article on writing. He offers some great thoughts including this one under the heading "Writers write. And rewrite."

"...most ideas tend to look fully formed and perfect until you actually try to write them down."

Each of my novels started in my head fully fleshed out. Then, as I began to write them, I realized there wasn't much meat on the bone. It took over a year of writing (and worse, rewriting) to get them even to the state they're in now. Funny how the brain can decieve a fellow in to believing its all done but the writing.

"You don’t have to put a gun to person’s head in order to make the stakes life and death. It can be a spiritual death." 

Rubin writes this when talking about Raising the Stakes. This is a common piece of advice. No one cares if the main character fails and he doesn't get the cheese that he wanted on his cheeseburger. But, if the world is about to explode, if the Pope is about to be assassinated, if an election is about to be stolen or a young girl is about to be murdered, well then all of a sudden the reader gives a damn.

This is actually something I struggle with and have been told as much by my beta readers. I need to stop some time during my writing and think to myself, "how can I make this all a bigger deal."

"When encountering a story issue that is keeping you from moving forward, the tendency is to look to plot for your solutions. How can he have a crowbar with him when he gets to the warehouse? How could she know about the baby at this point in the story? How did the car get from the impound lot to the airport? This kind of logistical thinking can drive you crazy and will often lead to some very convoluted plotting in order to get the result you want."

"Or you could tinker with your character. What skills do they have?  What happened in their background that might make them prepared for the challenge you’ve given them? What are they willing to do?"

This one I really struggle with. Allowing the character to drive the action is super tough. I have a plot and several sub-plots and I force the characters through that plot as if they were cars on a roller coaster track. I don't let the characters determine their own fate and what will happen. Not sure how to go about doing it, but having seen Groundhog Day I can certainly see what Rubin means.

It's great advice, and I love his work. Sure wish I had gotten a chance to see that original screen play. Maybe one day.

They Made a Movie of THIS?

I've read a half dozen or more Donald Westlake novels (some of which can be found here), and I have to say that I'm the least impressed by this one, Why Me (see here). So unimpressed in fact that yesterday's discovery that they had made a movie of it is not just surprising, it's utterly shocking.

Although funny and light and witty in the manner of Catch 22 and so many of Donald Westlake's other novels this one had absolutely no depth. It was one note. There was one plot and the story followed that plot along doggedly and without much verve or imagination.

There was one Donald Westlake I read (it was from the library which means I didn't blog about it, so I can't type "here") where he had a try and salvage a treasure from the bottom of a lake in upstate New York. Drowned Hopes (see here). That one was movie worthy. There was another one where he had to try and steal a jewel from a guy's house and the guy wanted him to do it. The Hot Rock (here). That was worth making a movie about. There was another where Dortmunder had to pretend to be a chauffeur in order to get to a painting. The Road to Ruin (here). That was worth a movie. This one was not.

Don't get me wrong, it was good. Like I said in my previous post (here) it is a good Donald Westlake novel. This one was just not as good as so many of the others.

Unflappably Westlakian

Why Me (see here), by Donald Westlake is on the hot seat this week. Like Dick Francis and Lawrence Sanders, I turn to Westlake when I want a comedy. You know what you're going to get when you read about Dortmunder. (That being said, I'm reading the book, I have no idea who Gus is nor who Bruno is . . . although that's a funny picture of Christopher Lloyd)

The first line is also vintage Westlake, not great, not even good, but gets the reader directly into the right frame of mind.

“Hello,” said the telephone cheerfully into Dortmunder’s ear, “this is Andy Kelp.” 

“This is Dort—” Dortmunder started to say, but the telephone was still talking in his ear. It was saying: 

“I’m not home right now, but—” 

“Andy? Hello?” 

“— you can leave a message on this recording machine—” 

“It’s John, Andy. John Dortmunder.” 

“— and I’ll call you back just as soon as I can.” 

“Andy! Hey! Can you hear me?” 

“Leave your message right after you hear the beep. And do have a nice day.” 

Dortmunder held both hands cupped around the mouthpiece of the phone and roared down its throat: “HELLO!”

Westlake, Donald E - Why Me?


Last thing on that movie poster . . . having gotten midway through the book,  I think it would be a horrible movie. I'm not surprised I didn't know about the movie. More surprised that it was made.

Felix is No Dick

Nope, as I said in a post last week, Felix Francis is good, but he's not at all as good as his father. I finished Damage this weekend, and although it was good, it wasn't a five star story like many of his father's are. Why? Several reasons.

First, it's not original. My favorite comic (of all time) is the Bloom County about there not being any truly original ideas anymore (I posted it at the end of this post for you). The fact that Felix is not using an original idea is a problem with me. It's as if he's trying to reproduce a story and he's not done it very well. I mentioned this in last week's post as well (see here).

I had to create a form for our business a few years ago. When I had come up with just the right form on my computer my boss told me, "Go and copy it about 10 times and see just how legible all those lines and shaded areas become." I'm glad I did it. The text became illegible in the shaded regions after just a few copies. They would have become illegible in our field locations as well. This is the way Damage felt. As if after several copies the story became fuzzy and not as good as the original. And yes, I blurred the image above for just this reason.

Secondly, he uses cheap and easy mystery/thriller techniques. Guess what? The main character, Jeff Hinkley, gets hit by a car and gets hurt. Happens in most of his books. He happens to put a tracking device in a rugby ball, the perfect vehicle for throwing it out a train window later? How did he know he'd have to do that! Additionally, Jeff figures out who the villain is about three quarters the way through the book, but Felix doesn't let the reader in on it till the end. He has Jeff and his wife sit outside the villains house for a full day and never let's his main character mention to the reader who it is they are watching. They follow him, they discuss him with others, and always Felix writes "I told him what I thought," or "I showed him the proof that I had against our target." It's a pathetic way to build suspense and it doesn't work in this case at all. If anything it only gets the reader mad.

I have given (and will continue to give) Felix Francis the benefit of the doubt because I love reading Dick Francis' books and wish that there were new ones to read. But this has me wondering if I should give up on the endeavor. Three star at best. Perhaps two is more realistic. I hope that Vincent Lardo offers a better bridge to more from my favorite authors than Felix.

(Here is that comic I mentioned)

Ben Thimmes, RIP

You may not be aware of this . . . but if you bought my book in the past year then you contributed to ALS on behalf of Ben and Sarah Thimmes (see here and here).

Sarah was a great friend of my wife's from their days at Miami University in Ohio. They were close and fast friends so naturally as my wife and her friends all got engaged and married all of we husbands and fiances got to know one another. I only saw Ben a handful of times before he was diagnosed with ALS. I wish that I had seen him more both before and after.

What strikes me is Sarah's resilience. The devotion that Sarah showed Ben and her family, the persistence and resolution and mostly . . . at least from where I sat, her indefatigably. If there is one thing I learned from being friends of Ben and Sarah is that I hope I can show that same amount of resilience in the face of long term adversity as she did for her husband, Ben.

I will miss Ben and will leave my note about profits going to ALS up and hope that one day I become a blockbuster writer if only so I can hope to make a bigger impact.

Back to an Old Favorite

The title is "Back to an Old Favorite" but can I really say that when it's the son of a favorite?

Whenever I'm casting about for something to read I will commonly go back to the old standards and favorite authors. Go look through this blog and you'll see some of those favorites quite easily. There's Lawrence Sanders (see here), Dick Francis (here), Fredrick Forsyth (here), even some Evanovich (here) and several others. They are safe, secure, you know what you're going to get and it's like walking into a party where you know everyone and there will be some, but not too many, surprises.

This time it's Dick Francis' Damage (buy it here) . . .but it's really by Felix Francis his son. Why is it "Dick Francis' Damage?" Did Dick Francis outline the novel and Felix just complete it? Is he just drawing off the fame and reputation of his father by using his name? (I know, I know . . . it's this . . . but bear with me). Before I continue, let me share with you the first line. I love compiling this list of first lines (see here) and going back and reading them all. This one may be one that I skip over.

I’ve had the test results and the news isn’t good.” 

I couldn’t get the words out of my head. 

I was sitting in the shadows at the back of a race-program kiosk near the north entrance to Cheltenham racetrack, scanning the faces of the crowd as they flooded through the turnstiles. 

I was looking out for any one of the fifty or so individuals who were banned from British racetracks, but my mind kept drifting back to the telephone conversation I’d had that morning with my sister. 

“I’ve had the test results and the news isn’t good.” 

“In what way?” I asked with rising dread.

“It’s cancer,” she said quietly.

Francis, Felix - Dick Francis's Damage

Now, one my suspect that whipping out a word like "cancer" would instantly make for a good first line, but for my money, that could be one of the more boring story openings in existence (that could be hyperbole . . . I still have quite a few more to read).

Now back to Felix. Nothing against my own pops, but I wouldn't want people coming to a train meet that I called "David Hannah's Train Meet" when in effect there was no trace of my father in it. Felix should break out on his own I say. I understand the need to make a living and the desire to continue the work of his father, but have some courage to just call it, Felix Francis' Damage.

Not to mention the fact that as far as books go, his aren't too bad. I don't think they're as solidly good as his father's but they're pretty close (see here). Also, there were some stinker Dick Francis books out there. Felix I hope will one day drop the Dick Francis banner at the top of his books and go fly free on his own.

This is an irksome to me in many ways, not least of which I find Felix not quite as good as his father, but also because of Vincent Lardo. I feel dismayed whenever I go out to read a new Lawrence Sanders book because there are no new ones. His Archy McNally character could be one of my favorite characters ever (despite being a blatant rip off of Archie Goodwin of the Nero Wolf series . . . see here), but there is old Vincent Lardo continuing the series in Sanders' absence.

On the one hand I think it's the height of patheticism to have to use someone else's characters and fame to create your own. On the other hand it sure is nice to have even the semblance of a growing library out there of some of my favorite authors. I'd love to know what others think about this as well.

Book Review: The Quiet Game

Greg Iles is a terrific writer. The Quiet Game (see here) was to the point, engaging and I great introduction to his writing and his books. It makes me want to go read more. Very similar to reading John Grisham, it was intriguing to see how Iles described Natchez (which is a city I've never visited) and the race relations that plague the South in general. There were a few B.S. moments where as I read I thought to myself "that would never happen" or "that's B.S." but what books don't have those moments.

As a writer and novelist myself it was fun to see a polished and well regarded writer struggling with many of the same problems I find myself dealing with. But as a reader I enjoyed The Quiet Game immensely and can't wait to read his next novel.

I like to list the first line of the novel's I read, particularly for my blog puborperish.blogspot.com and found this one to be intriguing:

I am standing in line for Walt Disney’s It’s a Small World ride, holding my four-year-old daughter in my arms, trying to entertain her as the serpentine line of parents and children moves slowly toward the flat-bottomed boats emerging from the grotto to the music of an endless audio loop. Suddenly Annie jerks taut in my arms and points into the crowd. 

“Daddy! I saw Mama! Hurry!” 

I do not look. I don’t ask where. I don’t because Annie’s mother died seven months ago.

Iles, Greg - The Quiet Game

Overall, one of the better books I've read this year and I look forward to adding Greg Iles to my ever growing list of favorite authors to read.

What Breaks Your Heart?

Today at church I had a stellar idea for a novel, or for at least a start of my next novel. I've been playing with an idea of having a mystery where the protagonist is a grown up Anthony, our former foster kiddo. Right now I've been writing a silly little romance cum literary fiction novel, but it kinda has nowhere to go. I'm waiting for my novel Vapor Trail to come back from editing, I'm uninspired to write the children's book on Rangers, so I'm sort of casting around for a new project. This one about Anthony might have just found a place in my schedule.

"What breaks your heart?"

I see the novel starting with that.

Anthony would be the protagonist. The idea came to me when I considered Anthony's future. I was in a morose state, have been for a while now. 2015 took alot out of me. For more on that see my other post (here). Nonetheless I was thinking about Anthony and his future. He will be in long term foster care for the rest of his life if he is lucky. He might go to be a foster or adoptive kid in an Indian tribe, but that doesn't look likely. He might go back to his no count parents, but again, not likely. He's going to have a rough life.

At first I thought it would be a great genisis story for a villain, but then I gave it another thought. What if he overcomes all of the hurdles that will be thrust on him and is successful. It was a complete change in perspective for me. In my mind he would be a mystery solving protagonist who has no sympathy for the antagonists he faces since his own background was so tough.

It's already inspired me to get started on it. Just hat first line is sometimes enough to get things going in the right direction.