As an ornithologist, George was fascinated by the fact that urine and feces mix in birds’ rectums to form a unified, homogeneous slurry that is expelled through defecation, although eying Greta's face, and sensing the reaction of the congregation, he immediately realized he should have used a different analogy to describe their relationship in his wedding vows.
~David Pepper, Hermosa Beach, CA
Now we have this one, a selection of winners from the Bulwer-Lytton bad fiction writing contest and this one that is the worst love scene writing. The above example made this new list too. It's still among the best, but these are also worth pasting here as well:
As his small boat scudded before a brisk breeze under a sapphire sky dappled with cerulean clouds with indigo bases, through cobalt seas that deepened to navy nearer the boat and faded to azure at the horizon, Ian was at a loss as to why he felt blue.
~Mike Pedersen, North Berwick, ME
She had whispered wantonly, “Come to bed, Yul,” but was now staring in utter disgust because the green lava lamp was too revealingly bright as he fumbled to adjust his new Merken, a $300 pubic toupee that had looked like a steal on eBay, but now looked just like a wet Tribble that had inexplicably crawled up his crack from an old “Star Trek” episode.
~Barry Bozzone, Allentown, PA
For reasons easy to understand all these examples of bad writing make me feel so much better about my own writing.
No comments:
Post a Comment