Because of this interest, I did a bit more digging. And I found another. Sadly, I don't think I'll find any of the others. Maybe that's a good thing.
CEO Letters from the Front
Dearest Liz,
Time has been quick to pass these past few weeks, but my yearning for our home and our hearth has not waned, nor has my hunger for a luncheon of your flattened spiced snake strips and candied raccoon cheeks. My mouth salivates at the memory.
Our autumnal campaign has been particularly successful. We’ve turned around the enemy's advance to such a degree the troops refer to it as the Fall Turn Around Season. So far, there has been no injuries worth recording to you or to my paymasters in Washington D.C. which I can only remark says volumes about the safety culture that General Pitman inspires and General "Fighting" Bob Pfeiffer promotes.
Our friend Admiral Gary Noto’s energy knows no bounds. He has been hard at work discovering a new microscopic training system that he hopes to release to the Army in the first quarter of next year. He’s calling it Micro-Learning and it should revolutionize our communications. I’ve included a picture of our friend Admiral Noto that was painted at his bayside laboratory below.
Finally, although our success in battle this Fall has been epochal, . . . Our scouts, under the leadership of Commander McGown, report that an enemy of the same size and scope of the one we just vanquished is amassing and growing for the Spring. I predict our normal skirmishes will continue for several more fortnights, but expect no major battles until January at least. I take heart in the knowledge that our experience and skill from these past few months will sustain us in our future battles as well.
For now a week of carousing with the soldiers begins! Victory agrees with the troops! My smile is wide. Please inform the hogs that I am well.
Yours - Ellsworth Bradford Clark
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