Autoethnography, Question 7

How, if at all, did participation in the study group influence your motivation to persist in the program?

This is a good question and one that I have often considered. I'm a fairly persistent fella. When I think about this question, I think about other challenges in my life. I completed Ranger School (9/10 on the difficulty scale), Scuba School (10/10 for different reasons), Basic Training (6/10), Airborne School (3/10), RIP (5/10), and Pre-Ranger (7/10), and several other sundry Army Ranger training missions. All were challenging in their own way. And I completed them all. 

I completed my MBA (3/10), my bachelor's with a double major in 3 years (4/10), and I will even include in these challenges some of the projects I've worked on through my jobs (3/10). I've written three novels (8/10), which took years of persistence to complete. 

All told, I've worked through and completed lots of hard things in my life. I think earning my PhD was right there with the hardest of them all. Could by, due to the duration, the hardest thing I've ever done. But, back to the question, did the study group influence my motivation to persist?

I think the short answer is yes. 

The longer answer is one that underlies the question: Would I have been able to persist and complete the program without the study group?

I think again, the answer would be yes, but I know that I wouldn't have enjoyed it as much, . . . I certainly wouldn't have learned as much as I did, and . . . I wouldn't have come away with such a great group of friends after graduation. 

I can't think of a moment when I seriously considered stopping or stepping away from the program. I was uniquely motivated, and I understand that that fact might skew things in my favor. When you have a boss asking you to get a PhD and paying for the lion's share of it, it changes how you view the hard slog. I remember when Daron left and ghosted us, I thought, "Why did he quit? Is that something that people do?" So, even early on, quitting wasn't an option for me or one that I might consider. 

So, in terms of persistence, I don't know if the study group provided that level of help. What it did do was expand my mind a bit. Having to interact with Will and Andrew certainly expanded my idea of what qualitative research is and how it can be useful. I think I'm very pragmatic. I can imagine a world where, without Will and Andrew's influence, I might have come away with a far more jaded view of qualitative research. 

I think, too, I would have come away with less understanding of academia. Having those two insiders give me their views of what is going on in the class from an academic learning institution's point of view was useful. Additionally, I doubt I would value my education as much without the study group. I thought KSU was just like any old program. I remember mentioning this to Will. Will castigated me immediately and soundly, explaining to me how KSU was far better than I credited it. I was looking into Idaho, Arkansas, and some other programs before applying to KSU. Will laughed at me when I mentioned the other programs I had been considering. So, no, I would not have known as much about the program or the value of the program without the group. 

I do think the group slowed me down a bit. I hate group work. I think I've said that before in this write-up. So, when it came to my dissertation, which was far more a solo act than our coursework was, I plowed ahead more deliberately and without the group. I think at that moment I wanted to move forward a bit quicker. I didn't want the group to slow my work or second-guess me. It felt a bit liberating at that point to be moving without the group. 

However, back to the question, did it help with my persistence? No. But, the benefits from the value of the program, and the enjoyment of the program by learning from the group, far outweighed the lack of a persistence driver I might have otherwise gotten from it.