One of my good friends, who has quite a bit of background in conflict resolution, disagrees, and he says that ghosting is a viable form of "conflict avoidance." He is probably right, and it's a good thing for me to think about, self-authorship and all that . . . being able to put oneself in another person's shoes and see things from the perspective. Still, I think it's horrible.
Anyway, I was listening to this podcast about emotions and trauma, and it got me thinking about why I'm so not a fan of ghosting.
A good friend of mine was a great practitioner of ghosting, and man did it make me mad. I basically shut down any chance for a future friendship over it.
But this podcast made me wonder why a bit deeper.
Then I realized that one of my first deep relationships, way back prior to college, dealt with a gal who ghosted me. I mean she wasn't as bad as this other friend I'm mentioning above, but this gal was a ghoster, and I wonder if that didn't set the stage for me so to speak.
Now, keep in mind, this first gal, we were just starting to use the internet and email back then. So, now days, with social media and so many different ways of getting in contact with someone, ghosting now is worse (I think) because there is less excuse for it.
Still, I wonder if that gal way back then didn't set the stage for me.
For now it's enough to know that I've worked through these things and now I don't have any empathy for ghosters. I can understand why, but I don't have to agree with it. I'm back to my old self where when someone ghosts you, they're done in this world.
I remember too, back in the Army, a gal and I set up a date for my first leave back to Houston. I showed up at La Madeline, and she never showed. Ghosting? Kinda. She wrote later. Definitely a stand-up, right?
Done with her. I told her that was the only and last straw. Stand up equals done. I think ghosting is in that same arena. Ghosting equals done.
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