Misson Creep

 Another letter in the affair of AJ and Hakim made me think about mission creep (for more see here). 

There was a person for whom I let a lot get by. I remember I broke up with a girl in Seattle just because she didn't make a coffee date she said she would. Could I have salvaged the relationship? Very probably. The problem was that I believed that allowing my slackening of principles would affect us. 

I think it was Life's Little Instruction Book that said, if someone shows up more than fifteen minutes late, just leave. The date or meeting will have been ruined by their showing up so late, so it's best just to leave. Taking that gal who stood me up into consideration, she had already not shown up for a date, so the chance to salvage anything was gone. 

For Hakim and AJ I'm making a stand. 

For too long I gave up too many principles for a friend. They stood me up too often and just as often I allowed them to. I wondered if they did that for others or was it just me? Did they stand up their other friends? I doubted it. Did they stand up their kids? I didn't think so. It was just me. I think they got in the habit of standing me up and after several years of it, it was a part of their nature. The problem was I was the one who had fostered that tendency. I should have done to them what I did to that gal in Seattle. After that first stand up, I should have been gone. Would have made things better in the long run. 

With Hakim and AJ, that's just what I'm doing. I'm nipping it in the bud. 

I should have nipped in the bud that friend who kept standing me up. Would have saved me many years of misery and I would have ended in the same (or similar) place anyway. 

Good lesson on not sacrificing principles.