Ghost at your Own Risk

I was listening to a podcast about emotions, and I was considering my "challenges" with ghosting. Anyone who has read my thoughts in these blog posts before will no that I'm not a fan of "ghosting." I think it's a horrible way to deal with things. Not only am I not a fan, but I think it's a perniciously bad thing to do that can be devastating to relationships. 

One of my good friends, who has quite a bit of background in conflict resolution, disagrees, and he says that ghosting is a viable form of "conflict avoidance." He is probably right, and it's a good thing for me to think about, self-authorship and all that . . . being able to put oneself in another person's shoes and see things from the perspective. Still, I think it's horrible. 

Shaw and Ghosts

I'm reading a book entitled, How to Know a Person. It's all about being a better person and being a better person towards others. I'm not saying I have to be some better human, but we all need a bit of work right? 

In this book, the author quotes George Bernard Shaw and writes, "the worst sin toward our fellow creatures is not to hate them, but to be indifferent to them: that's the essence of humanity."

Red Flag Talking?

I dated someone years ago who would persistently and consistently ghost me . . . then I guess, the term is . . . she would Zombie me. What's ghosting and zombieing? Ghosting we all know . . . a form of confrontation and conflict avoidance? Sure. But being a zombie? Someone who comes back from ghosting. In this case, she would pretend that nothing had happened. Just say, "I'm back." 

The worst part of this was at each part of the comeback/zombie process, it was like coming back starting fresh. We were always at square one again, or worse . . . behind square 1 . . . square 0. 

Continuing Saga

One thing I notice . . . continuing yesterday's discussion about my "friend" LB, is that I'm not sure if she even knows if she wants to be a fan or friend. Why? Well, cause every now and then I notice that she deactivates, and in one case blocked my account, from a fake account she set up. 

I think about this often. the way I see it, one,  . . . she’s checking whether I noticed. I think her blocking and deactivating is her way of wondering: “Is he watching back?” . . . “Does he care?” . . . “Is he aware I’m here?” . . . . It's like she can’t decide whether to re-engage or fully detach.

If That's Okay

I was thinking more about friendship… Close, friends… And cutting away towed jumpers… Anyone who is an avid follower of this blog will remember my post on towed jumpers… And I think I mentioned Baldwin (see HERE).

I had a good friend once . . . a long time back . . . could easily be defined as my closest friend ever … who when writing to me said "I'll call if that's OK."

Need vs Want

I've written about this before, . . . probably many times. . . but it's a huge part of my life, and a major theme in the novel I'm currently pecking away on in my Reedsy account. I have a good clip going, got some momentum, and Reedsy hooks you up with an editor, so hopefully, this time, I won't get reviews that say "could really use a professional editor."

But I'm writing about Need vs Want. I wrote earlier that men want to be needed and women need to be wanted. I think I wrote about this in terms of Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus. The way that men and women communicate, and fail to communicate and the challenges and problems that grow from that.