ZOUNDS!

I got a ZOUNDS from someone the other day. I was speaking to a colleague and we were discussing our projects and she said, actually said, "ZOUNDS!" This was a first for me. Last month Melissa "Golly Gee'd" me, but I've yet to ever have a "Zounds-ing."

Why did she say Zounds? Well, it was because we were talking about our projects and our lives. She said, "ZOUNDS! How do you do it all? You're so busy? How do you pack it in?"

I was taken aback. I don't necessarily think I am super busy, but I like to stay occupied. But according to her, I was very, very busy. I remember as a teenager reading "Life's Little Instruction Book" and running into this little bit of perfection: 

"You'll regret the things you didn't do more than the things you did."

I guess that's why I like to stay busy. I don't want to look back on life and regret the opportunities missed. It's fine if I missed something where there was no opportunity, but if the opportunity was there and I didn't take it, well I think I'll regret that. 

Lately, I've also been taking the time to smell the roses. It has my team a bit miffed. They are used to me always busy, always moving. After meetings with Julie, I'll linger and try to make small talk. When talking to Kayla I try to go further than the superficial, "How you doing?" I really have them off their game.

I try never to tell anyone that "I'm too busy." I remember the effect that had on me when my roommate was too busy. I've heard that from too many others. It's about priorities, right? If Julie asks if I have time to help on a project I try to never say, "I'm too busy." If Russell comes by for a chat, the last thing I say is "Sorry, too busy." Those little things add up and affect relationships. And that's my focus right now.

Why?

I have been thinking about people lately and relationships. I think I need to do a better job of fostering those relationships. I need to be there for people now. I think about that time when my roommate was too busy for me. I don't want others to feel that I'm too busy for them. I like to stay busy, but not too busy for anyone. 

The last thing I want is to look back on life and think, "Shoot, I'm sorry I was too busy not to make that work better." That would be horrible. If for years I kept saying, "Nope, too busy for that," then after twenty years of saying it, look back and think, "Well, shoot, I should have made the time."

I think we make the time for the things that are truly important to us. If I want my PhD, I'll make time. If I want to write 50K words, I'll find a way to do that. If I need to foster friendships, then I'll make time for those friends. I'll find a way to make that happen. I'll record em on my commutes (see here). I think that goes along with what that last assessment said about me (see here). What did it say about me? "They exude an inaudible intense energy, which cannot go without notice." Seems about right.

I do find it funny when other's tell me they are too busy. When I worked for Charming Charlie my supervisor was always telling me how busy he was. He would stay up at work until 2 or 3 in the morning. What we found was that he didn't actually work very hard or get much done. Marsha too was like that. When she left we looked at her workload and duties and there wasn't hardly anything there, yet she constantly told us just how busy she was. I've found the more people tell me that they are busy . . . the less busy I believe they truly are. What it tells me is that they are just horrid at prioritizing. Has less to do with busy-ness and far more to do with organization, thinks I. 

There have been a few people who I think are generally too busy. Brad, my former boss comes to mind. That guy was a whirlwind constantly. Ran to and from meetings. Lieutenant Davis, he was a busy guy, you kinda have to be to a Delta Force Squadron Leader. Sergeant Weideman, that guy never stopped to smell the roses. If he wasn't working hard, he wasn't working. Of course, he pounded caffeine all throughout the day, coffee, caffeine pills, energy drinks, everything. Again, Delta. I think being busy is a pre-requisite for Delta.

There must be a balance between "Zounds that's busy" and "Ensuring against regret." I hope to find it and look back on my life with little to no regrets.