Friends, Coffee, Jogs, and Equal Pressure

I went for a jog today. Been awhile. I’ve taken a jogging hiatus lately. Why? Well, for one . . . Travel. I’ve been moving and shaking for work lately . . . Tons of presentations on learning and leadership and although I usually love running when I travel, those opportunities just didn’t present themselves. Secondly, I am focused on diet. I’m trying to lose 10 more pounds before I’m 50. Two or three years ago I thought I was firmly set on a life of bulky weight-lifter body style. Now, I’m much thinner. I’m enjoying the much thinner. Third, I’ve got easily the most stressful part of my PhD happening now. I needed some time to focus on that. 

BUT, today I jogged, and I thought about a lot as I jogged. I thought about this and that and friendship, etc. I just missed an old friends birthday. I heard from her daughter that I had missed it. Truthfully, that old friend, she has kinda been absent. She doesn’t ghost, she just is super busy. I’ve been super busy too, so I get that. But, I’ve made several lunch and coffee dates with her, and she hasn’t been able to make it. 

From a self-authorship approach, it made me think about the nature of friendship. I have several friends who come and go, but most of my friends are long-termers. They can call me up anytime and suggest time for lunch or coffee and I’ll be there. Same goes the other way. Even if we can’t always make it, we’ll try. 

I have other friends who we try, we both fail to meet, and we try again. But we keep trying. Always will. It’s a good way to be. But it says something about the nature of “trying.” Trying is better than nothing. At least they try. 

Then there are those who have stopped trying. 

There was a time when someone who stopped trying . . . I was done with them. Someone . . . Anyone stood me up, and we were done. You ghost me? We were done. I let that lapse. Lately, that’s back on the table. I don’t have time or effort for people who can’t put in the same amount of time and effort. There can be mutual time and effort, and their can be mutual ups and downs, but nothing yields nothing, and from me now, nothing will beget nothing at all for good. 

Why all the thoughts on jogs? Who knows. Maybe it’s the stress of classes and PhD, or the stress of work or the stress of travel, but it’s good to have standards and live up to them. Back to standards that reinforce morals is always a way to lighten your step . . . Even on a jog.