Illuminators

Went to a birthday party last night for a close friend of ours who was turning 50. It was our “neighborhood group.” You know those people in the neighborhood you glom onto during your life because your kids are about the same age, you show up for the same sporting events, you see one another on walks and runs, etc etc. All the things that make adults friends. 

I thought about “illuminators” at this little party. 

Why? Well, when we left the soirée my wife turned to me and said, “Didn’t you just hate that one guy?” 

Now, I didn’t find anyone too loathsome there, and generally my wife never does either, so it was surprising to hear this from her. I was looking around for other “illuminators” and hoping to act like an illuminator. I do this somewhat naturally, especially at cocktail parties or dinners. I learned it from my old boss. When he spoke to you, you were all that mattered. I want to be like that but I also want to be that type of person that afterward you feel like you’ve been written over with a highlighter pen . . . That you feel special, . . . Important . . . Unique. 

Is this a part of my self-authorship journey? I think so. Is it also because of what I wrote the other day about George Bernard Shaw. . . Certainly. 

Regardless, back to this guy my usually genial wife, hated. 

He was like any other guy. Younger than us by a few years. Super cute wife (we all have super cute wives btw!) Fun kiddos. When I first came in I found myself swamped with kiddos so I spent a good portion of my time just hanging with them. I think it’s easy to “illuminate” a kiddo. This guy worked in construction, so we talked about that, since I have that in my past. They had a ranch they helped manage, or his wife did, and she and I discussed how close it was to my grandfather’s spread in Cotulla. Just little things like that.

But as my wife dissected her talk with this guy I realized that he was a bit of a poser. When he talked about his job, he owned and managed it. Finding out who had been in the area longer was almost a competition. They actually live just down the street from us, so I was surprised we had never met them. We found out later that his father started the company, he was running it now. A nuance sure, but he tried to sell himself differently than the truth. Same with the ranch. “We have a ranch down south near big wells” was the opener, but soon we learned it was the wife’s family ranch. So little things like that. I was surprised how quickly my wife picked up on it. 

Regardless, I hope I hit them with the old highlighter and they walked away from our conversation feeling a bit better. I think they have a bit of envy, a bit of keeping up with the Jones’s. I hope they don’t feel that way all the time. Maybe the highlighter helped them a bit. 

Maybe illumination clouds the truth.