My Final First Draft

It’s a confusing title, but I think it’s apropos. It’s my final draft but there could be more, depending on what my committee says. 

I’ve already written on my committee. Right now, my thoughts are on my defense. The draft of my defense. Last night, Friday, finally, I got the go-ahead to send my draft to my committee. This is a big deal. Monday, I will set down and write to all four committee members and send a copy of my draft. Also, I’ll send the draft to the two “visitors” who want to join in to see my defense. 

So, I have this weekend to put polishing touches on. Check the references and citations. Double check grammar. Fine tune the points I’m trying to make. Hopefully, the committee is happy when they see it. They have two weeks to read it and then I have to present my defense. The two weeks gives them time to come up with arguments against it. Arguments may not be the right word. Questions? Ah, you have to love the Socratic method right?

Regardless, I look at my 36K word draft and to me it seems so inconsequential. Why? Cause there is a lot I want to explore, and instead I’ve tried to be very precise. This is the nature of dissertations I’ve come to find. There’s a pull to want to put everything in that sucker. Then there’s the committee members who say, keep it precise. It’s a funny give an take. 

I want to write about how empathy might have inspired more people to respond in certain groups. I’d love to write more on cognitive load theory, that’s really interesting to me. Or memory decay. Or any of the other number of rabbit holes I could go down. Instead, it’s very  . . . VERY precise.

Early on in this process I had a class with one of my committee members. She said something that has stuck with me. She said, “Remember, this is just a dissertation, it’s not your book.”

She was trying to tell us not to blow this out of proportion, both in terms of import and in terms of scale. Don’t go down those rabbit holes, keep it precise. You want rabbit holes, go write a book and add a new chapter. This is just a really big research paper. 

My favorite book on adult learning is “Make it Sick.” I think about that book often and wonder what it looked like as a dissertation. I wonder too, how to make mine into a book.