At work, self-authorship is easy. What do I mean by this? I mean the ability to see other sides of issues, the opportunity to see multiple perspectives and gain understanding, the chance to understand challenges rather than deal with them and be overwhelmed by them.
At work, this has become somewhat regular. Kegan's and Baxter Magolda defined self-authorship as "the internal capacity to define one's beliefs, identity, and social relations" . . . in this case it is distinct from the socialized mind, the one where groups and herds dominate. Self-authorship is the ability to know our own beliefs and not allow them to change based on these challenges.
If someone at work does something that makes me angry, I understand it, and I change how I do things, but it doesn't necessarily change who I am.
At work, it's easy. With family, . . . and by this I mean extended family, . . . uncles, aunts, mothers, other relations. It's a little tougher, but not impossible.
With my close family, it's completely different. It takes me twice or three times as long for me to get to the point of non-caring when it's a close family member.
When I think of the challenges I have faced, every huge challenge with close friends, I usually can process and overcome them within half the time that a minor slight from my wife, or kiddos take.
But, what's nice is that eventually, it comes. How? With thought, with time, with work. But it comes nonetheless.
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